Author Topic: The Villains RP  (Read 12613 times)

Offline Tyler294

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« Last Edit: Apr 23 2017, 03:14 PM by Tyler294 »

Offline JA-394

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Long ago and far away, in the Mudara Galaxy, aboard the ancient starship the Uberweapon, nearly the size of the Imperial capital of Komm below, standing on the bridge, facing the viewport, looking out at a massive fleet of assembled battleships, was...

"Hey, Ludy-what'syerface!"

The Gatekeeper slowly turned around to face two men.

"I need to buff my security, evidently," was all the robot-voiced giant had to say.

Standing before him were The King of Kings, holding a sledgehammer, and The Chair Guy, holding a folding chair.

KoK spoke up.

"We're gonna break yer legs, Geeky!"

"It's for your own good!" said the Chair Guy.

The Gatekeeper was unamused.

"Get 'em!"

The two imbeciles fierce warriors rushed, KoK running into a boot to the head, and Chair Guy into an uppercut to the throat, both of them dropping their weapons.

Less than five seconds later, the two asshats fierce warriors were lying on the ground spasm-ing after being chokeslammed.

Not batting an eye, GK turned back to the bridge and his fleet of battleships.

Offline Tyler294

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The fleet floated elegantly in the void over Komm. The newly assembled vessels gleaming shiny...ly... from the reflective light of the planet below. It would certainly be something for any man to be proud of, except maybe the Gatekeeper who'd probably built a thousand fleets like this before. But still, despite the rude interruption he'd just suffered, there was little to fret. His enemies all freshly defeated, the economy booming, the SE Galactic functioning at full-strength... what could possible go wrong?

Well the Gatekeeper should not have allowed me to ask that, because just then, the proud, shiny flagship of this mighty flight exploded into a million shiny pieces. And those pieces broke a lot of the smaller ships around it into shiny pieces too. And those shiny pieces made for an epic glitter display outside the Gatekeeper's front window...

Offline JA-394

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The Gatekeeper's eyes reflected his state of mind.

"Figures."

He turned around to walk off the bridge and take a shuttle down to the surface to address this latest calamity in a long series of calamities.

Offline Tyler294

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Standing in the doorway leading off the bridge was a man in blue jeans (for style), black chest armor (for protection) and wearing a pair of black aviator sunglasses (for style AND protection). His blonde hair was combed up like Elvis and he had what appeared to be a giant... comb... sword... thing... slung over his back.

"Hey Geeky-man, Heath Ryder here to announce that you're going down... man!" he announced, giving the Gatekeeper a double-fingered point pose, "Oh yeah, and your shiny toy ships out there? They already went down because of me... man!"

A bedraggled-looking SE officer ran onto the bridge behind the intruder and shrugged at the Gatekeeper helplessly.

"My lord, I tried to stop him, but he killed all the men I tried to arrest him with." the officer complained.

Offline JA-394

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The Gatekeeper was slightly amused.

"Killed them with...?" he vocally gestured to the comb sword thing, not addressing Heath Ryder.

Offline Tyler294

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"Yes my lord... I've never seen anything like it! He... combed them to death!" the officer blurted, "I would have called you to ask permission to release the reserves, but something cut-off communications to the bridge!"

Heath Ryder lifted up a chunk of Cat3 cable and a pair of wire cutters.

"Sorry Geeky-man, but I couldn't have you phoning a friend during our throwdown." he said, "You really should update from landline... man."

Both Heath and the Officer cast a brief glance at the telephone mounted on the bridge wall not far away, then looked back at the Gatekeeper.

Offline JA-394

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The Gatekeeper panned his head in the direction of the landline, it never registering that his method was out of date.

"Very well. You are dismissed."

Offline Tyler294

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"Yes my lord." the officer replied with a quick bow, before heading for the door.

Ryder, figuring this now meant he was at center stage, took a few steps forward now.

"It's time to boogie Geeky-man, let's do this!" he declared, reaching for his combsword.

Offline JA-394

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"Officer, I was not talking to you," the GK summoned back the traumatized official, then finally addressed the heckler, looking at Heath, "You. You are dismissed."

Offline Tyler294

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"You trying to... dis... miss... me, Geeky-man? Do you even know who you're talking to!?" Heath roared, point a finger at himself for dramatic emphasis.

The poor officer stopped short of the door, but tried to inch away from Heath. He wasn't worried about his boss, but he didn't want to get any bones broken by this buffoon when the Gatekeeper inevitably mauled him and threw away the body in a random direction... which could be at him. That was how he got promoted after all...

Offline JA-394

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"No," the Gatekeeper answered the question.

Offline Tyler294

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Ryder paused a moment, then rubbed his chin.

"Which question was that an answer to?"

Offline JA-394

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The GK realized he may have made an error.

"The second. I do not know who you are."

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"Oh... OH!" Ryder's pointy finger now shot upward, "Allow me to introduce myself, then! I am Heath Ryder, the pillager of the planet Goholo, defeater of Clans of Durrrrrr, and the man who made the Kessel Run in less than 11.9 parsecs... while holding my breath!"

Ryder flipped around in place a few times, pointing in random directions, before coming about to face GK once more. He smiled a toothy smile that actually caused a lens flare of some sort from the shininess of his impeccable teeth.

"You're looking at the greatest Space Jockey in the Galaxy!" he concluded, doing the double point at GK again, the pointing both fingers back at himself a moment after.

Offline JA-394

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The Gatekeeper was silent for a moment.

"Space Jockeys blew up my first attempts at interstellar travel. I was angry."

He sounded so calm.

"Angry enough to realize small-scale was overrated. The next time they came for me, this was waiting for them."

He was obviously talking about the vessel they were standing in.

"Do you know why I haven't killed you yet?"

Offline Tyler294

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"Because I'm one handsome devil and you want me to share my secrets?" Ryder replied with a wink.

Offline JA-394

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"Because you remind me of those space jockeys. And the memories of humanity. I do not envy you. Now leave, before my mood sours and you die because of it."

Offline Tyler294

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"I did not travel two hundred ninety-four trillion light years, blow up a gloriously shiny capital ship, and infiltrate the biggest ship in the Galaxy to turn tail now. I have come to challenge you to mortal hand-to-hand combat, with swords! If you will not fight me, then I shall have to continue to goad you!" Ryder replied, before pointing at the viewport now, "Budda-bing, budda-..."

Another ship exploded.

"-boom." Ryder concluded.

Offline JA-394

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METALLIC ROAR

The sound came from everywhere, yet nowhere, announcing to the Gatekeeper...

"I see my security measures are now online, at last."

METALLIC ROAR


"Kill."

From the ceiling, where there were no vents, highly-toxic poisonous gas began to fill the room, the Gatekeeper being unaffected due to his mask. At the same time, two random chainguns appeared on the control console of all places on either side of GK and began whirling up and firing rounds at Heath.

Offline Tyler294

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"Not again!" officer guy moaned, pulling out a gas mask he conveniently carried around on his belt and fastening it to his face, while still pressing himself against the wall in the corner of the room.

"Uh-huh, let's do this, man!" Ryder declared, skillfully maneuvering his comb-sword so it blocked the incoming barrage of bullets.

At the same time, he did nothing about the toxic gas. This turned out not to be a problem though as the gas never reached his nostrils. In fact, the gas began to be sucked out of the room and into... Ryder's glorious hair.

"You underestimate the power of my Good Looks, Geeky-man." the space-jockey taunted.

Offline JA-394

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The chainguns switched to firing rockets and the gas turned to water.

Offline Tyler294

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Now rather wet between the ears, and about to be obliterated by a bunch of rockets, Ryder stopped being jovial for a moment.

"No fair, Geeky-man!" he grumbled, before leaping above one of the rockets while slicing another in half mid-air. He then used to explosion to somehow propel himself forward toward the Gatekeeper.

He came to a landing between the rocket launchers, then as they turned to fire at him in their midst, simply ducked as the launchers crisscross fired into each-other over top of him. Ryder immediately popped back to his feet, as the explosions were still dissipating on either side of him.

"You'll have to do better than that, Geeky-man!" said he.

Offline JA-394

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The Gatekeeper offered no verbal response, choosing instead to allow the twin-turbolaser turret that had just sprouted up in the middle of the floor do the talking for him.

Offline Tyler294

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"Okay, I guess you can do better." Ryder admitted, before whipping out a miniaturized Gungan shield generator and activating it.

A bubble of blue shielding soon covered the area immediately around Ryder and absorbed the first couple of turbo-laser shots. Knowing he couldn't simply hide under a shield forever, Ryder weighed his options. Noting a maintenance catwalk running along the ceiling far above, he devised a strategy.

As the turbolasers broke through his high-tech primitive shield generator, Ryder fired a grappling hook into the ceiling above and ascended quick as a flash. The turrets naturally followed his movement and fired again when Rider reached the catwalk. Of course, this was exactly as intended, as the blasts struck said catwalk and destroyed some of the supports. The section Rider had landed on began to swing downward, while at the same time our intrepid showoff grabbed-hold of the railing and swung along with it. Clutching the railing with one hand, he drew his combsword once more and as the catwalk section came down close enough to the turret he slashed both barrels off like they were butter... or uncooperative hair. Neither analogy is quite right... but neither is Ryder for that matter.

Still using the momentum of the swinging catwalk, Ryder propelled himself again forward at the Gatekeeper, sword outstretched before him as he flew through the air like a man shot out of a canon.

"Geranium!!!" he whooped mid-air.