The Villains RP

[Tyler294]

Heath paused and waited. Surely he'd found his query this time?

[JA-394]

What he found was a bearded man wearing a white robe moving the giant rock with telekinesis. Definitely not his query.

As the man stepped out of the hole in the wall he looked back.

"Next time, you come to my place. I don't like this toxic dustball."

Out of the rock next came a red man with horns atop his head and wearing black robes.

"This is my kind of world! Dead, silent, away from your FATHER..."

Out of the rock last stepped his query - The Gatekeeper's little brother, Kane, color-reversed outfit and all.

He... said nothing.

In fact he didn't know why he was there.

[Tyler294]

Heath grinned as he stepped before Kane.

"Are you Kane?" he asked uselessly.

[JA-394]

"Cain?" the man in white spun around, looking at his host and Heath, "Why you...! You killed him!"

Red-horned man looked confused.

Kane glared at the man in white.

"I have yet to kill a man today. Do not presume to be the first."

"You killed Abel you son of a bitch!"

"Who?"

"Your own brother! You killed him in cold blood!"

Kane stared off into the clouds.

"Oh, I wish I had..."

[Tyler294]

"Just the man I'm looking for!" Heath declared, "I need you to help me kill a man!"

[JA-394]

"No! There shall be no more bloodshed on thi-!"

"Shut up already, ya old coot!" red horned man blurted out, "Do any of us look like we're law abiding citizens? Or Christians?"

Kane was now ignoring the two of them.

"Why should I help you? What can you do for me in return?"

[Tyler294]

"Kill the Gatekeeper."

[JA-394]

"You? Kill the Gatekeeper?"

Kane started to laugh.

The two opposites behind them meanwhile had broken down into a fistfight.

[Tyler294]

"Yes. My proposal... You help me kill the Gatekeeper... and I help you kill the Gatekeeper." Heath replied.

[JA-394]

Now Kane had to think.

No, not really.

"You said the magic words. Let's kill that goddamn menace."

"HEY! DON'T YOU GO SAYING MY FA-"

"HI-YAH!"

White-robed man was distracted just long enough for red-horned man to land a karate-chop to the back of the head and knock him out.

[Tyler294]

"Excellent!" Ryder proclaimed, "To my ship!"

He spun around (revealing the demonic tire tread on his back) to face the way he'd come from.

"Follow me!"

He set off to try and find his ship... wherever it was he left it...

[JA-394]

A few hours later, the Gatekeeper had gone to bed, because even extra-galactic super-monsters have to sleep. Sometimes.

He was in the remnants of the Imperial Palace, closely guarded by over a thousand of his best men, as he lay in the largest bed in the Empire, tucked in with ornate black sheets and...

A red sleeping cap, complete with eye covers.

[Tyler294]

Just as soon as the Gatekeeper had finally gotten comfortable and fallen asleep, the door to his bedroom was kicked open and Heath Ryder and Kane came bursting in.

"Aha, Geeky-man! You will meet your doom this time!" Heath declared.

[JA-394]

The Gatekeeper sat up vampire-style, tearing off his cap.

"How did you get- Kane? I haven't seen you in twenty-six years! Why are you here? And who is this?"

[Tyler294]

Heath paused a moment, insulted that the Gatekeeper hadn't remembered him. However, he quickly forgot he was insulted as he realized this was another moment to--

"I'm HEEEEEAAAAATTTTTHHHHHH RRRRRYYYYYYDDDDDEEEEERRRRRR!!!"

--do that.

[JA-394]

The Gatekeeper was unamused.

Ignoring the resident space jockey, he looked at his bro.

"I take it this isn't a social call..."

Kane glared at him.

"Remember all those times you used to bully me in the playground at school?"

"We never went to school. That is the smoke getting to your brain. Smoke from the fire Harrington set."

"He wouldn't do that!"

"I watched him do it."

"Then how are you alive?!"

"Because I didn't die."

"I don't believe you!"

"..."

The Gatekeeper stood up.

"Let's get this over with..."

[Tyler294]

"We should take him together, K-Man." Ryder suggested, drawing his combsword.

[JA-394]

"No! You heard what he said! I'm taking him now!"

Kane swiftly rushed in to face the Gatekeeper in a fistfight.

And was just as swiftly met with the bed. All of it. Right in the face, Force-thrown by the Gatekeeper, sending him ricocheting off the wall and onto the floor on his back, out cold.

In case you were wondering, the bed was dented, and its frame was made of cortosis.

With his full attention on Ryder, the Gatekeeper drew his corrupted lightsaber, humming with a reverberating ... hum.

[Tyler294]

Ryder realized his plan had been foiled in a matter of a few seconds. Shrugging, he prepared to meet the Gatekeeper in a daring display of swordsmanship.

"En guarde!" he taunted, flipping him combsword around all fancy-like.

[JA-394]

The GK pointed the lightsaber at Ryder, a concentrated storm of electricity flowing from it and at him.

[Tyler294]

Heath's head moved backward and upward slightly and he stuck his chin out in frustration.

"I just realized I need to get a defense for that." he deadpanned.

Then the lightning struck Ryder and slammed him into the wall behind him, causing an instant KO.

[JA-394]

At that moment, two of the guardsmen ran in.

"My Lord!" the first saluted, and was immediately struck down by another bolt of lightning.

The second looked at the charred corpse of the first, at the KO'd bodies on the floor, then at the Gatekeeper.

"Sir?"

"That was for allowing these two into my private chambers. Now take them away."

"And him?"

The guard gestured at the charred corpse.

"..."

*ZAP*

Two more guardsmen ran in on cue.

"We uh... we'll take it from here, my Lord."

They began to haul away the bodies, off to parts unknown, having no idea if any of them were alive or not, as the Gatekeeper flipped his bed back over and began the search for the missing cap.

[Tyler294]

And there was Heath Ryder, back in a cell, with a third-of-the-way-done guillotine still being built outside (no blueprints could be found, so they had to wing it). This time, however; he had company, in the form of Kane. And the lady guard from before, since the other guards left her in there for "criminal idiocy".

Kane, for the record here, had a pair of force-suppressing handcuffs (such a thing does exist it would appear) on his wrists.

"Don't worry, K-Man! I'll get us out of here or my name isn't HEATH RYDER!" the man responsible for all of their presences here stated.

[JA-394]

Kane looked at him, then at the guillotine.

"I can break these cuffs..."

[Tyler294]

"Unnecessary! I have a plan!" Heath replied enthusiastically, then turned and pointed at the lady guard, "You remember our conversation we had last we met, yes?"

"I've thought of nothing but..." she growled in irritation.

"Well, I was thinking... the parameters we set were totally unfair. While you may have been a woman in the cell, I was merely pretending to be the guard, but in reality I was not. I suggest we test the theory again, this time with a real guard."

"You're serious..."

"I'm the most serious person in the galaxy!" Heath replied.

"..."

"Come on, babe. Give it a shot? What have you got to lose?" Heath persisted.

"Fine..." she grumbled, then got up and began attempted to seduce the new guard, this one a man.

Despite being just as terrible at seduction as before... somehow it worked and the male guard walked right up to the cell and started to kiss the lady guard through the bars. Ryder quickly took advantage of the distraction, stole the keys, unlocked the cell and opened the door. He then motioned for Kane to follow. The two guards were still doing their thing and didn't even notice the door had opened. Presuming Kane followed, Ryder then closed the cell door behind them and proceeded up the stairs.

Just then, the two guards stopped messing around and pulled away from each other. The lady guard, still locked in the cell, turned around to face her companions again and congratulate Heath on the success of his plan.

"Hey, it wor..." she trailed off upon seeing the cell empty.

She immediately spun around, as did the male guard, to see Heath and Kane most of the way up the stairs and about to leave the dungeon.

"Wait... how did...?" the male guard blurted in confusion.

"Because I'm HEEEEAAAAATTTTHHHHHHH RRRRRYYYYYDDDDEEEEERRRR!!"

And with that, Heath and Kane were gone, leaving one befuddled guard guy and one pissed guard lady, who both said in unison:

"Damn it, Heath..."