Author Topic: Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space  (Read 49149 times)

Offline Tyler294

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« Last Edit: Apr 23 2017, 08:10 PM by Tyler294 »

Offline Tyler294

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 07 2016, 07:36 PM
In the early twenty-second century, the Royal's Rest Bar became the first privately-owned space station to ever be completed in Human history. Despite several ownership changes, the station had remained in constant service since its initial christening and would go on to see its fair share of ruffians, criminals and pirates. More than one-hundred-years had indeed seen many interesting characters set foot in the cramped, dim interior of this proud establishment. Today... would be no different...

May 4th, 2222 A.D.

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 07 2016, 07:57 PM
A middleaged spacer entered the bar, his best days shown in the Just For Men usage on his beard but not on his head (For whatever reason). Standing at 5'4 and weighing close to 250 lbs, he was not your typical human being with a beer belly and a love for just about any type of edibles to fill it. His beard was brown, as were his slightly rag-tag clothes. The only noticeable feature about him, apart from his size obviously, was the big iron on his hip. Though who would trust this guy with one of those is yet to be determined.

Waddling through the bar, it didn't take long for him to realize all the seats were taken.

And he needed to sit down.

Badly.

Because at his weight and relative size, 250lbs puts a lot of pressure on your back, ya see.

He waddled over to somebody at the bar.

"Can I have your seat?" he drawled.

"No."

...

On to the next one.

"Can I have your seat?"

"I'm drinking here!"

...

Five solid minutes later after waddling the entirety of the bar with no one willing to give up their seat, Mr. Fat Man sat down on the floor, exhausted, contemplating his life.

Offline Tyler294

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 07 2016, 08:10 PM
A moment later, the quartermaster of said captain's ship entered the bar, having been briefly delayed with some other duties. Standing at a mere 5'1", the man was bald-headed despite being in his mid-twenties. To cover that up, he always wore a old, metal soldier's helmet, which had been spray-painted grey to go with his grey trench-coat. Underneath the trench-coat he wore a pair of tan cargo pants and a faded blue sweatshirt with the logo of the long-gone New York Giants football team.

Scanning the bar, the quartermaster eventually located his captain on the floor and approached him.

"No rest for the weary, eh boss?" he remarked in his crackling nasal voice.

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 07 2016, 08:19 PM
The Captain tried to stand up, but couldn't. He was just too fat.

"No..." he said as a few people started to laugh at his flub, "There never is."

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 07 2016, 08:20 PM
The quartermaster offered his captain a hand up.

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 07 2016, 08:34 PM
The Captain took it, and was either pulled to his feet or accidentally pulled the quartermaster to the floor with him with his extreme girth.

Offline Tyler294

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 07 2016, 08:36 PM
Decidedly more of the second. And seeing as the quartermaster wasn't not the most physically strong fellow, he came down pretty hard.

"I think I'll wait for the rest of the crew." he moaned from his spot, face-down on the floor.

« Last Edit: Apr 08 2016, 02:59 PM by MilkSnake »

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 08:42 AM
A small, lightweight-looking robot that bore an uncanny resemblance to a certain malfunctioning Super Battle Droid, except with two arms, of course, walked into the bar.

"Oh no..." the Captain groaned from the floor.

The robot, spotting them with its sensors, immediately walked over to its Captain, completely ignoring the Quartermaster.

"Declaration - You are fat."

"I know..."

"Condescending Remark - I suppose I should help you..."

"That would be appreciated, yes."

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 08:50 AM
The quartermaster stood up in the meantime.

"Remember why we are here, boss."

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 08:52 AM
The droid reluctantly helped the Captain to his feet.

"Yes."

"Quarry: Do you ever wonder why we are here?"

The Captain stared at the droid in confusion.

« Last Edit: Apr 09 2016, 08:57 AM by JA-394 »

Offline Tyler294

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 08:57 AM
"Don't you mean 'query'?" the quartermaster asked.

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 08:59 AM
"Condescending Correction - Yes, Quartermaster. Query. However, I fear my programmed intellect has once again flown over your head."

The Captain facepalmed.

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 09:01 AM
"That happens often when you're short." the quartermaster remarked, before turning back to toward the rest of the bar, "Well, boss, I think I'm gonna do what I do best."

With that he walked over to the closest patron and pulled open his trench coat.

"Hey kid, wanna be some blades?" he inquired.

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 09:05 AM
The 'kid' spun around in his chair, wearing a full-body other-worldly suit painted grey and tinted yellow.

"No thank you, I own plenty of blades," he said in a heavy accent with excessive hand gesticulation, showing several combat knives.

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 09:13 AM
"But... we can never have too many COMBAT KNIVES!" the armored man's companion, a muscular man with buzz-cut hair, wearing a brown jumpsuit with a shiny chrome breastplate, and with a pair of big swords sheathed on his back, declared.

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 09:16 AM
Armor-Man put his hands on his hips, then facepalmed, because you know, excessive hand gesticulation.

"What are you charging?" he asked the Quartermaster.

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 09:22 AM
"Depends on the blade." the quartermaster snickered villainously, "Shivs cost about twenty or thirty doubloons, but for a good combat knife... well..."

He let the left side of his trench coat flop shut as he pulled the other one open.

"Let's see... this one costs about... oh, fifty-two doubloons or so. Or this one is about seventy-five. But if you're looking for quality, you could buy this fine blade for a bargain price of two hundred ninety-four."

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 10:00 AM
Armor-Man glared through his visor.

"That is robbery! You expect to be paid that much for a knife like that?"

He stood up, rubbing his hands together. (For whatever reason)

"I think my partner and I should teach you a few mannerisms," he said, sounding rather chipper and for some odd reason pointing over his shoulder - the opposite shoulder his partner was on, in fact.

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 10:02 AM
"Agreed! You will pay for trying to make us pay!" buzz-cut added, dramatically pointing his finger at the quartermaster.

"Well, this is going how I expected..." the quartermaster muttered under his breath.

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 10:05 AM
The droid ran up, waving its fist around in various people's faces.

"Excited Proposition - Shall I eradicate these scumbags for you, Quartermaster?"


Offline Tyler294

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 10:09 AM
"Guys, please! Let's not let things get messy!" the quartermaster pleaded with the two.

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 10:12 AM
The screen abruptly turned a hue of red for a split second.

"It's too late now. You tried to scam us," Armor-Man retorted, drawing a combat knife.

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 10:20 AM
"Fine, deal with them." the quartermaster gestured to the robot.

Offline JA-394

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Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space
Posted Apr 09 2016, 10:24 AM
"Gleeful Statement - With extreme pleasure, Quartermaster!"

Armor-Man came at the droid with his combat-knife but was met with rapid-fire punches.

"Owowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow-"

Punching with one hand, the robot started winding up with the other...

*BAM*

Armor-man was knocked high up into the ceiling and landed flat on his face on the floor... then rose to a kneeling position, clutching his stomach.