Star Pirates: Buccaneers in Space

[Tyler294]

"I guess you have no choice." Cutler remarked.

"BOSS! They're taking me downstairs again! TELL THEM TO LET ME GO!" Marty wailed from... somewhere... as the security detail was trying to lead him away.

[JA-394]

"Indeed. HEY!"

Wally shouted after Security, waddling after them.

"Unhand my Man at Arms, you swine!"

[Tyler294]

"I'm a man-at-arms!?" Marty exclaimed in confusion and horror.

"Marty's a man-at-arms?" Cutler questioned in confusion and disinterest.

"He's the man-at-arms?" Jordan growled in confusion and annoyance.

"Release the captain's man-at-arms at once!" Sharpe roared at the security guards "How dare you arrest a bridge officer of such total and inescapable importance?!"

[JA-394]

"Sounded like a good combination of words for the swine thing," the Captain shrugged as Security promptly dropped Marty on the ground and resumed their normal activities.

[Tyler294]

"Oof!" Marty grunted as he fell to the floor.

He quickly got back up and dusted himself off, wondering why he kept those dolts on the payroll.

"Thanks boss." he said gratefully.

Cutler was back to messing around on his console, when there was some additional beeping sounds coming from it that weren't from his game. After a moment of half-hearted searching for the source, he finally found what was going on.

"Huh... we're about to be fired upon." he mused.

[JA-394]

Dr. Yankem stared at his broken mess of a console.

"This is normally where I would say something like 'Good' or, 'Excellent, more test subjects!', but there is a difference between pompous hardass talk up in the safety of space, and pompous hardass talk in the safety of a downed ship on a hostile world. This is bad, fellas. Real bad."

Captain Walls stared at Dr. Yankem for a long moment.

"What he said," he hiked a thumb in his general direction while waddling as fast as he could for the high ground, thinking they were going to be boarded.

[Tyler294]

"We have something incoming... shields are... down." Cutler reported, "There's nothing I can do."

"Wait... are we going to get blown up?" Jordan asked.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE AGAIN!" Marty screamed.

"Impact it three... two... one..." Cutler counted down.

*Plink*

A single bullet bounced off the top of the hardened plexiglass viewport, landed, then rolled off and fell into the swamp water.

[JA-394]

HAX observed the proceedings with interest.

"Compliment - You human-aliens are very proficient in fearing for your lives from the smallest of inconveniences."

[Tyler294]

"I was not afraid; I was just inconvenienced." Cutler replied.

"I was afraid..." Marty muttered.

"Anders! I want a full inspection of the ship delivered to me by 0459 today!" Sharpe demanded in the direction of Claret.

[Rattler]

"If its already past that time, that's on you," Claret shot back as she went to work.

[Tyler294]

Sharpe ignored Claret's retort and instead took position by the captain's chair where he normally would stand while important decisions were being made by the captain... when said captain was occupying the chair of course.

"Awaiting further orders, sar!" he reported to the aforementioned Captain.

"Oh damn! The cargo!" Marty suddenly exclaimed, "Nononononononononononononono..."

He dashed off the bridge in a puff of literal smoke. Well, almost literal smoke... it was actually dust. From something. Don't ask me where it came from.

Jordan walked over to the still unconscious navigator and lightly kicked him the side to try and wake him up.

[JA-394]

"Cargo?" the Captain repeated from his position... wherever he was, "THE CARGO!"

He quickly moderately dashed off the bridge after Marty.

Dr. Yankem, his moment passed, didn't seem to care anymore.

HAX chose to follow the two of them.

[Tyler294]

Marty was first (obviously) to the cargo bay. It didn't look so great...

Whatever hadn't been strapped down had fallen to the ceiling when the ship flipped, then back down to the floor again when it flipped back. Several crates were broken open and the contents spilled onto the floor. Whatever was strapped down looked mostly fine, at least on the outside... but that was the outside.

[Rattler]

"Starting to question the sanity of this crew..." Claret muttered.

[Tyler294]

"Not as bad as that one job..." Jordan muttered, kicking Mitch a little harder.

***

Marty began opening crates, to find that the fine china was totally okay. However, the same couldn't be said for the ionizer panels, which were damaged beyond repair. Unfortunately, said panels were owed to a particularly corrupt politician who possessed great authority in the sector. He wasn't going to like to hear that his ionizer panels had been destroyed.

"Boss! Look at this! We're ruined!" Marty wailed.

***

At that moment, an omnipotent, omnipresent, omnidramatic voice (that sounded oddly like Tom Kane) began to speak...

"Will our heroes be able to repair their ship and escape the alien planet before the source of the mysterious artillery finds them? Will Wally and Marty suffer the consequences for damaging the mysterious corrupt politician's illegal merchandise? Will Mitch every wake up? Tune in next week for another exciting episode of Star Pirates: Voyagers in Spaaaaaaaaaaace!"

"And now for your local news..." a different voice stated.

Aubre glared at the television, looking very disappointed at what she'd just watched.

"Eh... the movies are so much better." she muttered.

Letting out a yawn, she laid her head down on the couch as the litany of boring news reports began to bombard her senses. Might as well just take a nap until Coro came home with the groceries was her last thought before slipping off into dreamland...

THE END